Privacy Policy: The Brutally Honest Edition
Last updated: April 25, 2025 8:00pm
We highly value your privacy. (At least, that's what all these policies say, right?)
Please read this Privacy Policy carefully before using the https://www.simplifiedceosystems.com Website (the "Website") operated by Coleen Stubbs. This Privacy Policy contains important information regarding your privacy and how we may use the information we collect about you.
Your access to and use of the Website is conditional upon your acceptance of and compliance with this Privacy Policy. This privacy Policy applies to everyone, yes including you, but not limited to: visitors, users and others, who wish to access or use the Website.
By accessing or using the Website, you agree to be bound by this Privacy Policy. If you disagree with any part of the Privacy Policy, then you don't have our permission to access or use the Website. (Translation: Hit the road, Jack.)
What information we collect, where we get this information, and how we use this information
We collect any and all information you input on the Website.
Because of course we do.
We collect the following information about you:
Identifying information - Name
(So we know what to call you)
Identifying information - Billing address
(So we know where to send the bill)
Identifying information - Phone number
(So we can text you our specials & answer your questions)
Identifying information - Email address
(So we can share our products & services with you)
Financial information - Credit card or debit card number
(I'm running a business to get paid)
Financial information - Card expiration date
(Gotta make sure it's valid)
Financial information - Card CVV
(security code) (For your "security")
Sale of your information
We do not sell your personal information. (We're not that desperate... yet.)
With whom we share your personal information
We do not share your personal information with any third parties. (We're keeping all your juicy details to ourselves.)
Cookies
A cookie is a small piece of data sent from a website and stored on your device by your browser.
This Website collects cookies and may use cookies for reasons including, but not limited to:
Analyzing our Website traffic
(Stalking your clicks)
Analyzing your interactions with advertisements
(Seeing what you're into so we can provide more of it)
Identifying if you are signed in to the Website
(Making sure you're really you. Yes there is someone out there that wants to be you.)
Testing content on the Website
(Guinea pig, anyone?)
Storing information about your preferences
(So we remember how you like it)
Recognizing when you return to the Website
(Welcome back, stranger! We're so glad you're here!)
Most web browsers automatically accept cookies. However, you can modify your browser settings to decline cookies, if you prefer. This setting may prevent you from taking full advantage of the Website. (But let's be honest, you're going to accept them anyway.)
Children's privacy
This Website is intended for use by a general audience and does not offer services to children. Should a child whom we know to be under 19 send personal information to us, we will use that information only to respond to that child to inform him or her that they cannot use this Website. (Sorry, kids. Come back when you're older.)
Your rights
Depending on where you reside, you may have the following rights with regard to your personal information:
The right to access the personal information that we have collected about you.
(Yes, we'll show you what we know.)
The right to say no to the sale of your personal information.
(We'd never sell it anyway.)
The right to request that we amend any of the information that we have collected about you.
(If we got it wrong, we'll fix it.)
The right to withdraw your consent to the processing of your data.
(Having second thoughts?)
The right to lodge a complaint regarding our collection, sharing and processing of data with competent authorities in the proper jurisdiction.
(Go ahead, tell on us. We actually like to play by the rules!)
Exercising your rights
You may exercise the rights specified above by submitting a consumer request to:
Coleen
Owner
(417)362-1008
9520 County Road 2780, Mountain View, MO 65548
United States
We will respond to most consumer requests within 30-45 days of receipt, depending upon where you reside. However, some requests may take longer. (We're busy people, you know.) We will notify you in writing if we need more time to respond. We have the ability to deny your request(s) if certain exceptions in the law apply. If we do deny your request, we will provide you with the reason for such denial. (And it'll be a good one, promise.)
Accountability
The following person is accountable and responsible for our privacy practices and procedures:
Coleen Stubbs
Owner
(417)362-1008
You may lodge a complaint with us by contacting the person accountable and responsible for our privacy practices and procedures at the contact information above. (Feel free to give Coleen an earful.)
Do Not Track
Do Not Track is a preference you can set on your browser to inform websites that you do not want to be tracked. We do not support Do Not Track ("DNT"). (Surprise!) You can either enable or disable Do Not Track by visiting the Preferences or Settings page of your browser.
Transferring data
We plan to transfer your data. This means that your information may be processed in whatever country our automation systems are in. It may be accessible to law enforcement authorities and national or international security authorities, who have jurisdiction. (Your data is going on a world tour!)
Changes to Privacy Policy
We reserve the right to amend this Privacy Policy at any time. We will notify you of any changes to this Privacy Policy by posting the updated Privacy Policy to this Website or application.
(But let's be real, you won't read the updates either.)
Thanks for reading this. I hope it wasn't as boring as you anticipated! Please enjoy using our website!